I will never forget the morning of July 15, 2010. Your mother woke up in labor with you , and even though there was some fear in both of our hearts we couldn’t contain our excitement. Off we went to the hospital, I didn’t know what awaited me, all I knew was that my life was about to change forever.
Jacy, this may sound cliché but it is true, the moment I first held you in my arms was the happiest moment of my entire life. I don’t tell many people this, but you were the first baby I ever held. I made a decision early on that I never wanted to hold a baby, until I was holding my baby. I believe that was a great decision. I began to weep tears of joy as your mom laid you in my arms and asked me the question, “isn’t she beautiful?”
Of course you were! You were (and still are) the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen. The three of us sat in the delivery room hugging each other, and crying tears of joy. God gave us a perfect little girl to bless our lives. Your mother and I prayed together in that moment. We prayed that God would help us as parents to know how to raise you, and that above all we would lead you to heaven. This is still our constant prayer.
We know we are not perfect parents, we make mistakes. We pray that God will give us the wisdom to guide you in the right ways and to teach you His Word. Jacy you are my heart. Just a few days after you were born I had to leave for the night for a speaking engagement that was 3 hours away. I cried the entire drive there. Not because I was worried about you (you have the best mom in the world!) I was crying because the minute I left, I felt like I left my heart. Your mom told you that your daddy wanted a picture of you and this is what you did
your smile has always melted my heart.
We have done some amazing things in your 3 years of life. You have been to the zoo numerous times to see some amazing animals. You have 2 dogs, a fish, and a hamster because you love them so much. You have been on top of mountains, you have been in museums, you have even been in the ocean. You have cultivated relationships with your grandparents on both sides, you have developed a deep love for your 3 aunts and your uncle, and even your little cousin Joey. The way your eyes light up when you are around your extended family, make it worth the drive to see them.
While you have been to many amazing places, and done many fun things, your mother and I have been very intentional to make sure that you have the right foundation for your life. Jacy it does not matter what you have done on this earth, if you do not grow to know, love, and obey the words of your savior Jesus Christ.
That is why you have been to roughly 300 Bible classes, and worship services. That is why your mom and I spend time at home talking with you about the Bible and singing with you and praying with you. You have been to visit daddy at camp every year, you have attended weddings, you have attended funerals, you have held my hand as we knocked on doors to invite our neighbors to worship God with us. When you are old enough to read this letter I pray that you will have such a deep love for The Lord! There are times that it would be “easier” for your mom or I to just do things without you. Baby girl, I hope one day you will understand that the reason we don’t is because we love you more than anything. As you grow we want activities such as worshipping God with the church, serving others, evangelizing, comforting, rejoicing with those who rejoice, and studying the Word of God to be who you are, not just some things you do some of the time.
Words cannot express how much I love you. I learn so much from you! You remind me what it means to love unconditionally. You show me what is means to make friends with anyone with no bias. You show me the face of purity. You remind me how to take time out of my schedule and play with toys. You have taught me that even I can wear a princess crown and have a tea party. I thank you for that.
I hear so many parents who have raised children before me tell me things such as “don’t blink, or you will miss their childhood.” So I have been doing all I can to enjoy, observe and document your life. Baby girl, you grow too fast. As I sit here typing these words I fight back the tears. I know that you are healthy, growing, and normal. For this, I thank God. However, I wish you could forever be in my arms. I wish you would never get a boo boo that a kiss doesn’t fix. I wish you never had to feel the pain of a broken heart. I wish you never had to experience the sting of sin. There are so many things that I want to protect you from. Please know that even when I fail you, your Heavenly Father will not (John 10:27-30)
No matter how much you grow, how much you change, or how far you go, I want you to know you will always be my heart, my life, my baby girl.
Happy birthday princess!